Masculinity

Abraham Lincoln famously said, “Better to be silent and thought a fool, then to speak out and remove all doubt.”

Perhaps it was in Abe’s spirit then, that before everyone had GPS in their cars, it was a well-worn cliché among women that their husbands would drive around lost rather than stopping to ask for directions.

Personally, I never related to that behavior, but I knew it was a thing.

For me it was more like, “Hmm, I think I’m lost. I’ll ask for directions. Now I’m no longer lost.” But then again, I was never the kind of kid who didn’t raise his hand in school for fear of looking foolish, either. And it’s fair to say, I looked foolish and felt foolish a lot. Often it was embarrassing, and sometimes even painfully so. But I learned that being seen “not knowing” didn’t kill me, and by developing emotional resiliency, I could shift from “not knowing” to “now knowing.”

I bring this up because many of my women friends and women clients express frustration with their husband’s “fragile male egos,” particularly in the domain of intimacy. It’s normal that over time relationships change, and different challenges emerge. But deeply ingrained in men’s psyche is the need to be right and to get it right, and when things are not right, and we don’t know how to make them right, it’s scary. And it feels somehow safer to “drive” around lost then ask for directions.

At a very early age boys learn—more so than girls, I think–that love is conditional. We learn that life is a competition over scarce resources, and we only received approval when we won, when we got the good grades, when we “scored” with the girl, when we got the big paycheck–and it hurt when we lost, or made mistakes, and was especially painful when we got it wrong. We learned we were lovable (or not) for what we did, for what we achieved, not for who we were.

Sadly, we internalized conditional love for ourselves, learning to love ourselves only when we succeeded. From there, it’s not a stretch to only want to do things you’re good at, and to avoid areas of perceived weakness. To be a successful man is to be seen as a successful man—at all times!–and so the image of empowered masculinity becomes transactional, measured by money and the accumulation of trophies. Success means winning, winning means destroying your opponent, and life becomes a zero-sum game. Feelings of doubt or vulnerability are perceived as weakness and need to be quashed if you are to be victorious–and from there, it’s not too far of a journey of disconnection from our hearts and our humanity to the realm of toxic masculinity.

In the context of conditional self-love, then, it becomes understandable how admitting you’re “lost” could be so painful you will do all manner of psychological gymnastics to avoid it. However, we only learn from our mistakes, so if you’re not admitting your mistakes, you’re not learning. If you’re not learning, you’re not growing. If you’re not growing, you’re dying.

In relationship and in intimacy, what worked well in the past often doesn’t work so well anymore. Not because anybody’s wrong, but because everything and everyone changes over time. There’s no shame in that.

But if you’re not growing, you’re dying.

The shame is that the fear of “not knowing” leads to not looking. Old school masculinity “wins” in the short term by force, or by denial, but love always loses in the long term.

My mission is to empower men to create even more love in their world. To do that I believe we let go of having the answers, and learn to ask different questions.

What becomes possible when we stand centered and open-hearted, fully present in this moment, confident in our not knowing?

Let’s show the women and children we love that the patriarchy and toxic masculinity have had their day. Are you ready to join me in launching the 21st Century Man Project?

Published! Magazine Interview

Please enjoy my interview from Published! Magazine from 2019.

Lucas Roy Lehman speaks and leads seminars on personal power all over the U.S., Sweden, and Canada. He is a certified neuro-transformational coach, a certified sexuality educator, and founding director of the nonprofit Freedom Within Prison Project. He’s also the author of the new bestseller, Seven Principles of Sex and Money and Power: Your Clear Guide to a Better Life.

P: Lucas, can you share a little bit about what your background is and what brought you down this path to your passion and purpose?

LRL: Thank you. My background is really this exploration of creativity, energy, spirituality and consciousness. If you track my background, it starts as a writer, a musician, a songwriter, and a performer, and tracks into entrepreneurship, then it all starts coming together into the transformational coaching, what that’s about, and what brain states are required for us to bring the transformation into our life.

P: That’s so wonderful, so important, and so empowering for everyone. Could tell us a little bit about how all of the wonderful things you’re doing with clients translated to you wanting to write a book?

LRL: I really began to get a distillation and a synthesis of where…essentially, like Albert Einstein said, that matter and energy are the same thing. Energy is vibration. Vibration is most clearly understood really when we think of music and how different vibrations have different frequencies, have different energies, and even different keys. If you’re a musician playing a song in one key, it will have a different emotional resonance than playing it in another key. How those things correspond to then physical energy systems and different energy levels in the body, and the chakras, and all those sorts of things. I began seeing a synthesis of all of that. In some ways, The Seven Principles is the distillation of that.

P: What can the readers look forward to learning when they pick up your book?

LRL: They can look forward to learning that in a sense, we create our own reality. Whatever our reality is, we’re actually creating it now. People think changing their reality means changing their external reality. A more effective way to do that is actually to change my relationship to my reality and the judgments, choices, and the thoughts that I’m making about it. From that place, it actually becomes much easier for the external to change. But, if I’m not okay until I get over there, then I’ll still not be okay when I get over there. It’s this question of how do I shift the brain state that I’m in, whether I’m in frustration, fear or hopelessness? Those are all normal and understandable brain states, but it’s not solved by something out there shifting it. It’s solved by how I shift my relationship to whatever problem I have, move into a higher functioning part of my brain to deal with it. Then, life becomes a different process.

P: For people that are just entering into the idea of transformation and this whole concept that you teach so brilliantly, what are some tips that you would give them?

LRL: There is a concept in music that’s called sympathetic resonance. What that means is that if I had a guitar leaning up against a piano, and I played an A on the piano, the A string on the guitar would begin to vibrate. Likewise, we’re vibrational beings. The predominant vibrations that are coming at us from the outside world are predominantly negative: fear, frustration, and anxiety. Naturally, those vibrations outside of us trigger those feelings inside of us and make it feel real.

I might be afraid. I read about climate change, and I’m now in a place of fear in my life in general. I’ll not only bring that to a discussion about climate change, but I’ll now be in a place of fear, which is then going to impact how I respond to everything, because I’m now playing in the key of fear, if you will. I might be snappier with my partner or anxious when I’m in traffic or whatever, which isn’t to say that fear of climate change is not real, but do I have a problem in this moment? My fear isn’t real; the thing that I’m afraid of isn’t happening in this moment. How do I bring myself back into connection with what actually is true in this moment? Oh, in this moment, I’m driving in the car with my loved one, we’re going to the grocery store, and there’s plenty of money, plenty of love, and plenty of food on the shelf. Then, I now have experience of life based on what’s actually going on, not on my fear of what’s going to be happening tomorrow or in two decades.

P: That’s so wonderful, the idea of living in present time. There was a book out at one point called The Present and it was all about the present, being present time. So much of what you teach is around that. How do people veer away from going into the past and moving into the future, and conjuring up all these emotions that are possibly not so positive? Any tips for how they stay present time?

LRL: Well, I believe the first part is to recognize that’s what they want to do. I have a meditation practice that I call “Tuning into the Key of Me.” That really again speaks to this notion that if I’m a musical instrument, what’s going to have me play the prettiest music? It doesn’t matter how many hours I practice if my instrument is out of tune.

My first intention would be to notice that I’m doing that, and to have the intention to bringmyself back to the present moment. “Oh, there I am, having fearful thoughts about global warming. Ha, ha ha. Aren’t I wonderful? What’s true right now?” Our physical body is a great way to do that. Just let me smell some wonderful oil or small a lemon, or take a walk in nature, or any of the things that bring us back to the feeling of, “Oh, actually everything’s fine right now.” It starts with the intention to do it, and the intention to put less inputs that cause those things.

I don’t know how many people out there listen or watch the news every day, but I would argue, “What’s the point of that; to ingest psychic garbage every day that makes us feel less powerful, more fearful.” I’m not suddenly safer because I watch MSNBC every day versus one day. Trump’s either going to be impeached or he isn’t or whatever. I’m taking myself out of the vibration that puts myself into those places is the first step, and then having the intention that that’s what I’m doing.

It’s back to one of the things that I talk about in the book is that people want different things than they have, but the first step to that is, who are you being? There’s a saying, “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve got.” Albert Einstein calls that the definition of insanity, to expect different results from the same behaviors. I would say, if you keep being who you’re being, you will keep experiencing what you’ve experienced. If you do not like the quality of your experience, then who do you want to be that’s going to have a different relationship to your experience?

P: Again, so true and so powerful. You decided to put some of this wonderful work you’re doing into the book. It’s touching people all over the world, literally. It’s so wonderful. You already have a practice where you touch people, but now more and more people can be touched by your writing. Did you have any challenges with converting what you’re doing to the actual writing of the book?

LRL: Well, I did, actually. I was percolating on this idea for quite a while. I remember a girlfriend of mine actually bought me a stencil to put on the wall of my office of The Seven Principles, and that was back in I think 2015. I already had the idea of what the seven principles were, and there definitely was resistance to writing it. I had several false starts. Some of that I think sources back to this being question of, “Who did I need to be, to be the guy who wrote this book? Was I ready to stand in the authority of that and the responsibility of that?” Sometimes what we think might be procrastination, and there might have been a lot of judgment of myself that I was procrastinating, and what was that all about? It could have just been I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to be the guy who had the authority to be that person.

P: That’s a wonderful point, because I think a lot of people beat themselves up over that. I found when I was younger, I used to think if I threw more energy at things, it would be a really, really good thing. If I was at a place where I was in a stalemate, I’d just throw more energy at it. Now I find, and I learned this way later in life than I wish I had, that if I just step back and allow peaceful place for energy and for intuition and inspiration to come in, I get it resolved in a much gentler and beautifully finessed way than throwing everything against it.

LRL: I agree. There’s a saying, “What we resist persists,” and throwing more energy at something that I am in resistance to doesn’t necessarily move it. We also have a limited amount of energy to put into the system to make changes. What you’re saying really speaks to the question of how do we get out of our way? How do we eliminate the blocks to what wants to flow? I talk about that in the book. That’s a way better use of our energy…back to this question of, “Who am I being? How do I create clarity on myself so that energy flows through me?” rather than thinking, “Oh, I need to crank up more energy or work harder or whatever.” We want to let the Dao or whatever you want to call it work for us – it’s got way more power than we do. How do we get on board with it is really the question. How do we be gentle? I love that. You just said that. That’s beautiful.

P: How did you know when your time was right to write the book? Were there signs saying, “Okay, I’m ready now. I’m the person I need to be to do this.”?

LRL: In some ways, I would say yes. There were things that had happened in my personal life. My marriage had ended. Some health issues had happened. In a way, it sort of came around of like, “Okay, this is it now. It was necessary for me to take my business to the next level. Obviously, I had always had that in the back of my mind. “I want to do this to get my business to the next level,” but it was just like there was something in the timing.

Then, the final piece was a friend of mine wrote her book. It was like, “Oh.” She did a program that helped her write a book in three days. I knew that I wasn’t going to write my book in three days, but that I was ready to write ‘the good enough book’ and get the support that I needed to write ‘the good enough book’. I signed up for the program, and in three days, I had a draft of a book.

Once you have a draft of the book, then it’s like, “Okay, now I just need to make it better.” Not, “Am I ever going to finish it?” It was definitely a process of “Time to just do this.” I was just ready. Yeah. It’s hard to say exactly what shifted, but it just became…there were other things that had happened, and it was just, “You know what? This is it now. It’s time.”

P: If you look at the fabulous work that you’ve done over the years and are doing now, it just keeps expanding and growing out to more people, and also, of course, the book, which is global, what would that look like to you if you were to look at it almost like a legacy? How would you like that work and your book to impact the world?

LRL: Wow. What a question. I think how I would want it to impact the world would be to have people ask the questions of themselves, “What matters? What are my values? How am I living in alignment with those values? How do I get myself in a place where that’s what matters?” That’s a question of present. Becoming present to, “What am I feeling and how am I behaving from what I’m feeling? Oh, I’m feeling afraid. Okay, what’s necessary for me to shift out ofbeing afraid?” Not solving the problem that I’m afraid, because typically fear is – what do they say – false expectations appearing real.

To get people, especially in this country, to become present. We’re in a time of abundance of richness greater than ever in the history of the world. With my iPhone and a credit card, I’ve got more power than Louis XIV ever had in terms of what I can do and where I can go. What’s with all the fear? To connect with our bodies, our spirits, and what’s here right now, and then what choices do I want to make from that place?

 A world of connection and presence and joy that’s available right now. That’s what I would want.

P: I can’t thank you enough for being so generous about your sharing. I would love it if you could share a link on the web where people could connect with you, to learn more about you, and the wonderful things that you teach.

To connect with me, my website is the easiest place to go, which is my name – www.lucasroylehman.com. There are some cool free gifts there. My “Tuning into the Key of Me,” videos and meditation practice, which is two minutes to transform who you are being and your relationship to yourself and the world outside. The Seven Principles Assessment is also on my website and lots of other goodies as well.

Intimacy, with myself?

I’ve been very fortunate in love.

Which isn’t to say that I got married and lived happily ever after, or that I haven’t had my share of betrayals and abandonments, heartbreaks and heartaches.  Over the last 30 years, I’ve lived and loved boldly, I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve had my share of all that love has to offer a human heart.  I’ve learned so much, and my life has been very rich.

I’m grateful to all the partners–long term and shorter term—that I’ve had the opportunity to give love fully and freely to, and so grateful for the abundance of love I have received in return.  With each relationship, or maybe through the conscious grieving after the end of each relationship, I have been able to heal a wounded part of myself, and today I find myself experiencing being single in a new way.

I notice that I like myself, that more and more I enjoy being with myself, and that I’m not looking for somebody else to distract me or rescue me from my feelings.  Most importantly, I find that I’m not needing somebody else to validate that I’m worthy of my own love.

I often tell my clients, we can only receive as much love from others as we give to ourselves.  And if we’re looking outside ourselves to get more love, we are not likely to attract it.  Or if we do connect with someone, it’s likely to have the same vibration as the last someone.

Through my lifetime doing this work on myself, and my dozen plus years doing this work with clients, I have come to think of intimacy as the music of love.  And just as I wouldn’t have gotten much better as a guitarist without my many teachers, so too has the quality of the music of love in my life grown through self-reflection, self-responsibility, and mentorship.

What about you?  What is the quality of the music of love playing in your life?  Do you have a mentor to improve your “musicianship?”

I have two openings left in my upcoming Intimacy Makeover 90-day on-line group program starting in mid-April.  It’s a very affordable and life changing program for you if you’re ready to improve the quality of the music of love you’re playing in your life—solo or with a partner.

This program is for you if:

  • You are eager to create new patterns and experience more love and joy
  • You want realistic tools to create more ease & connection in all your relationships
  • You are ready to break the cycle of attracting the same types of unsatisfying relationships

For more information, please check out IntimacyMakeover.com.

Please send me an email to learn more, or we can jump on a quick call to see if it’s the right thing for you at this time.

What is an Intimacy Makeover?

When you think about your past relationships, (or your current relationship if you’re frustrated with the quality of your intimacy), do you find yourself ruminating on what your partner should do, or should’ve done differently?  If only they’d been ________, or if only they would’ve done ______, then it would’ve “worked out.”

Perhaps there’s even been a pattern of behavior that’s shown up across multiple relationships, which has led you to believe that men in general are flawed in this way, or women are deficient in that way, and that’s why you can’t find a satisfactory partner.  Why couldn’t he just do this one simple thing?  Why couldn’t she show up the way you wanted?

Well, I have bad news and good news.

The bad news is, it’s not about “them” and what they’re doing or not doing.  It’s about you.

That’s also the good news, because it means that you are creating your own reality, and you have the power to create a different reality.  But how?

You’ve probably heard the old adage: “Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll keep getting what you got.”  And you might say, well, what can I do differently?  I’m loving, and thoughtful, and generous…that should be enough to be loved!

It is…except it’s not about what you’re doing, it’s about who you’re being, and the power of your beliefs that inform who you’re being, creating a reality that confirms those beliefs.

“Keep being who you are being, and you’ll keep experiencing what you experienced.”

Who are you being?

Are you still being the victim of old wounds from past abandonments and betrayals?  Do you have trust issues?

Somebody else can’t fix that for you.  Even if they try!  In more than one relationship I tried to be the white knight to heal my partner’s deeply held abandonment story, but she just kept raising the stakes of her misery until it was unbearable and I was forced to leave her.  My love didn’t fix her, and ultimately I had to let go of the belief that my love could “fix” a woman.  More importantly, before I could stop attracting women that I needed to save, I needed to accept my arrogance that was underneath that belief, and the even greater challenge of letting that arrogance go.

Who are you being when it comes to love?  What is the quality of your inner dialog? Do those inner voices tell you that you can’t be trusted when it comes to picking partners, or you need to lose weight before you’re lovable?  Do you experience feelings of hopelessness, fear, and frustration when it comes to your relationship with yourself?

Of course we all experience bouts of hopelessness, fear, and frustration in life.  But usually we project those feelings onto something that’s not right “out there” as the reasons for those feelings, and if only we had that thing or that person, we’d be happy.

But when you accept the responsibility of creating your own reality, take responsibility for who you’re being, take responsibility for cultivating new thoughts and beliefs that create your reality, then you attract different people with different behaviors to create different relationships.

Keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll keep getting what you’ve got.

And when you register for my Intimacy Makeover program you create the intention to get what you haven’t gotten.

Attract the kinds of relationships you truly desire!  Hit reply and we’ll set up a 15 minute call to see if this program is right for you.

The 90-Day Intimacy Makeover for women begins May 7th,so contact me today! Email lucas@intimacymakeover.com or call (831) 588 0840

Lucas

Harvard study discovers the #1 key to a fulfilling life

I was recently listening to a TED talk about a 75-year study by the Harvard psychology department, exploring the question of what brings the greatest happiness and satisfaction over a lifetime.  The study followed a group of undergraduate men, as well as a group of Boston area men who didn’t attend college.
At the start of the study in the 1940s, 75% of the participants said getting rich was very important, and some 50% said they wanted to be famous—a result similar to Millennials who were asked the same question today.
But over the course of the study, following up with the same participants every two years or so, what became clear was that the real key to life-long happiness and satisfaction, were close relationships, particularly the kind of reciprocal relationships that the participants knew they could lean into during life’s most challenging times.
In other words, what proved to be most important for happiness and satisfaction for both the financially successful participants, as well as the less financially successful participants in the study, were family, close friends, and particularly, long-term relationships (LTR).
Perhaps the conclusions of the study seem obvious.  All humans share a need for connection, safety, love, touch and intimacy; however, relationship dynamics have changed dramatically over the past few generations. Families are scattered across the globe. Friendship and even communities seem to come and go.  Many of the old assumptions about love itself have gone out the window in the modern world, and successful relationship doesn’t fall so clearly under the “live happily ever after with one partner for the rest of our lives” model anymore.  And finding satisfying love is more challenging, complex, and volatile than ever.
As an intimacy coach, empowering men and women to create more love in the world is my life’s purpose, and though I don’t claim to have all the answers, I’ve spent a lot of time asking questions that have led me to present my new webinar:
You will learn:
  • A new perspective that illuminates the complexities of the modern relationship dynamic
  • The 6 cornerstones of a successful relationship
  • How to navigate a world of differing needs, wants and desires
Do you want to know more about how to have a loving, long-term partnership?

Commitment or Surrender?

A couple of weeks ago, I committed to delivering a few paragraphs of copy to my assistant for my newsletter, and two whole weeks went by without me writing a word.
I didn’t have any good reasons, and not even any mediocre excuses.  I had the time.  I just didn’t do it.
Why not?
Now, as I often tell my clients, it’s usually not very useful to ask ourselves “why” questions, because underneath the answer to a “why” question is usually going to be a limiting belief like “There’s something wrong with me” or “I’m not good enough.”  (Particularly if the question is a big one like “Why can’t I find a romantic partner?”  Or, “Why can’t I make more money?”)
In this case, my limiting beliefs are that I’m lazy, and that nobody is interested in what I have to say.  And while those beliefs might be true, or partially true, the deeper exploration of them is not likely to result in the writing of a newsletter.
A better question is: What got in the way of writing the newsletter? Or, what small step can I take toward writing the newsletter?  Or, most powerfully, what core value is fulfilled by writing the newsletter?
Writing a newsletter because I’m “supposed to” is not a core value.  If anything, I have a core value of rebelling against things I’m supposed to do…so maybe I wasn’t sufficiently committed to begin with.
Newton’s 3rd law states that every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  And this has me looking at the opposite energies of commitment and surrender.  Therefore, increasing commitment would be a result of increasing surrender.  But surrendering what?
Ha! Surrendering my limiting beliefs around laziness and your lack of interest!
And now I’ve even fulfilled a core value here—to share vulnerably, and to begin the exploration of this rich topic of commitment/surrender—and I’m rolling!
When we try to bring something new into the world, we usually think commitment and effort are what’s necessary to reach our goal.  Yang energy, if you will.  But once we reach a certain level of success, what gets in the way of moving forward is often more complex, and attention to the yin energies of release, surrender, and opening to receiving can hold the key. 
Is there an area of your life where you’ve been wanting to move forward, but feeling stuck?
Continuing the thread from last month around autumn’s harvest/falling away, what part of you is ready to die as we head into the darkest days of the year?
What do you need to let go of, what old story does your ego need to surrender to allow for new growth and movement in the new year?

A Failed Marriage?

The autumn days are getting shorter, but miraculously, here in Santa Cruz, the Indian Summer temperatures are actually warmer than during summertime, and I’ve been so enjoying swimming in the ocean a few more times before the water gets too cold.
Maybe because the school year starts in the fall, to me, now feels like the time of new beginnings.  It’s also the harvest time, and the time of letting go, when the leaves begin to die and fall from the trees.  These natural rhythms are just as real in our lifecycle as they are in the plant world, and in that spirit I would ask you to take a moment and answer the questions:
What are you harvesting?  What are you letting fall away?
As for me, what I am letting go of is my marriage to Kim-Elisha.  Or more specifically, since we separated in June, what I am now letting go of is the part of my identity that was intertwined with hers.  It has taken me a season of tears and grieving to come to this place.  Releasing our shared dreams and shared love, and letting go of the part of me that embodied that love and those dreams, has been lonely, and painful, and difficult.
And though our relationship only lasted 4 years, I don’t actually view it as a failure.  It was a hugely transformative time in both of our lives, and I am grateful for how she showed up for me, and I am proud of how I showed up for her, and how we loved each other all out until the end.
What I’m harvesting now is a sense of wholeness and self-love that I didn’t have when I met her, and that I wouldn’t have now if she hadn’t gone.  And from this place, the story and the details don’t matter.
As for the new beginnings, I’ll leave that for next time.
What about you?  What are you harvesting?  What are you letting fall away?  Hit me with a quick email reply—I’d love to hear.

What’s the difference between “love” and “in love”?

Do you remember the last time you said to a friend “I’m in love!”
It feels so good to be in love and you probably couldn’t help but share all the details about your last date and how wonderful and alive you felt.  It’s true, all those yummy love hormones make us feel giddy and happy. It’s a high we all crave, that new relationship energy (NRE) that makes the world more vibrant and puts an extra bounce in our step.
We all know that (sadly) NRE fades over time as “stable relationship” hormones take over.  So, is “in love” even a real thing?  And if so, what helps make it last?
Last week, I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Doug Llewelyn on CUTV News Radio. It was fun being on air and talking about my Intimacy Makeover programs. During our time this topic of “love” versus “in love” came up. I’m glad it did because I think it’s an important one in relationship.
We’ve all heard somebody say, “I love my partner, but we aren’t in love anymore.”
We all know what love is: acceptance, appreciation, admiration, support, commitment, trust, availability, presence, giving and receiving, (add your own ingredients…) and it’s the same whether it’s love for your friends, or your spouse, or your grandmother.
But the secret sauce that creates that “in love” feeling is this: The romanticized projections of good times in the future.  The anticipation of… how great it will be when we move in together.  Or build our dream house.  Or travel to Tuscany and drink red wine over dinner in a quaint piazza.
In a new relationship, the “in love” feeling even creates a romanticized projection of who our partner actually is (and how amazing they are).  When the NRE hormones wear off, we are left with a sinking feeling of “Oh, no, is this all there is?”  This is the inevitable downside of relying on biology and sexual chemistry as the drivers of relationship.
That being said, the feeling of “in love” is a real thing and it can be created after NRE is gone. The trick: having an exciting shared vision of where the relationship is going, and what will keep it growing.  NRE is the spark of life, the magic juice that turns a seed into a seedling; staying “in love” requires the on-going imagining and dreaming and visioning of the garden you want to bring to flower in the future.
Want to learn more? Listen to a replay of my interview on cutvnews.
During the interview, I gave listeners a gift that I’d love to extend to you. For a limited time, get access to my Intimacy Makeover intro package, two coaching sessions with me for $147, normally a $500 value.