Commitment or Surrender?

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A couple of weeks ago, I committed to delivering a few paragraphs of copy to my assistant for my newsletter, and two whole weeks went by without me writing a word.
I didn’t have any good reasons, and not even any mediocre excuses.  I had the time.  I just didn’t do it.
Why not?
Now, as I often tell my clients, it’s usually not very useful to ask ourselves “why” questions, because underneath the answer to a “why” question is usually going to be a limiting belief like “There’s something wrong with me” or “I’m not good enough.”  (Particularly if the question is a big one like “Why can’t I find a romantic partner?”  Or, “Why can’t I make more money?”)
In this case, my limiting beliefs are that I’m lazy, and that nobody is interested in what I have to say.  And while those beliefs might be true, or partially true, the deeper exploration of them is not likely to result in the writing of a newsletter.
A better question is: What got in the way of writing the newsletter? Or, what small step can I take toward writing the newsletter?  Or, most powerfully, what core value is fulfilled by writing the newsletter?
Writing a newsletter because I’m “supposed to” is not a core value.  If anything, I have a core value of rebelling against things I’m supposed to do…so maybe I wasn’t sufficiently committed to begin with.
Newton’s 3rd law states that every action has an equal and opposite reaction.  And this has me looking at the opposite energies of commitment and surrender.  Therefore, increasing commitment would be a result of increasing surrender.  But surrendering what?
Ha! Surrendering my limiting beliefs around laziness and your lack of interest!
And now I’ve even fulfilled a core value here—to share vulnerably, and to begin the exploration of this rich topic of commitment/surrender—and I’m rolling!
When we try to bring something new into the world, we usually think commitment and effort are what’s necessary to reach our goal.  Yang energy, if you will.  But once we reach a certain level of success, what gets in the way of moving forward is often more complex, and attention to the yin energies of release, surrender, and opening to receiving can hold the key. 
Is there an area of your life where you’ve been wanting to move forward, but feeling stuck?
Continuing the thread from last month around autumn’s harvest/falling away, what part of you is ready to die as we head into the darkest days of the year?
What do you need to let go of, what old story does your ego need to surrender to allow for new growth and movement in the new year?

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